Which Heroes Could Have Saved the Titanic?

Stoner Conversation Starter

I heard a conversation on this topic a couple of years ago on the Sirius Xm show The Bonfire. I not only found it hilarious, but it was genuinely interesting as well. Which fake character with super powers could save a historic disaster? I feel high just thinking of the question.

Sorry in advance for my lack of knowledge in this area. I enjoy it greatly, but I’m somewhat surface level when it comes to this stuff. Sorry if there’s some obscure “Titanic Man” I’ve never heard of. I will keep it at two characters per group for the sake of enjoyable reading. Remember: this doesn’t matter. Enjoy!

Hard to Believe

These superheroes, while beloved, have no chance at success, in my humble opinion.

Wolverine

While an amazing hero, Logan can only do so much on a body of water, in my opinion. An often overlooked power of his is the ability to speak to animals. I don’t believe it matters what their species is. With that in mind, the possibility of getting help from the sea life is a possibility. Though, the barrier of the water makes it impossible to communicate properly. The adamantium that has been such a benefit becomes a hindrance in this instance. While Wolverine is said to be invulnerable, drowning becomes his downfall here. Assuming he is too heavy to swim hundreds of miles, he will sink to the bottom and drown.

Batman

I love Batman but I don’t think there is much room for discussion here. If rich bachelor Bruce Wayne were on the Titanic back in 1912, there is no technology available for him to utilize (i.e. Batwing). His martial arts will do nothing to save the ship. Maybe a batarang through the ship can help end the suffering quicker. Yikes, that’s dark.

It’s Possible

It could happen. Under the best circumstances, these people could (maybe) get it done.

Hulk

Hulk has unbelievable strength. The ship saving ability that comes to mind is his jumping. With the understanding that he can jump 3 miles, and knowing that the ocean is around 2 to 2 1/2 miles deep on average, he could reach the bottom, jump out with the ship, and advance a mile at a time. I’m not so sure that’s a reliable technique. His often overlooked ability to breathe underwater seems like the superpower to save everyone. Coupled with his super strength, he could carry the boat on his back and swim to safety. That is, if he can remain Hulk for long enough. Using the MCU Hulk, he is in a permanent state of well-balance Hulk body with Bruce’s mind. In that case, I think he gets it done.

Spiderman

The loveable web crawler and my favorite superhero of all time stands a chance. We’ve already seen our most recent iteration of Peter Parker save a ferry (with a little assistance). Although he struggled, if he digs deep, he can come through and save the Titanic. According to my research, Peter’s webs are waterproof. With this in mind, it would be possible to stop the leaks and keep the ship afloat to at least buy time.

Easily

No problemo.

Superman

Obviously. Must I go on? I don’t think there is any debate about how powerful the most famous superhero of all time is. Superman’s character has even been criticized for his lack of weaknesses. There’s little this man cannot do. Within a minute he can carry the sinking ship to safety.

The Flash

Being able to run a mile in a fraction of a fraction of a second makes The Flash extremely useful in this situation. At his speed, running on water is no issue. The only issue I could see would be stopping while on water. I’m not so sure of his quickness underwater. At the very least he could place people on a flat patch of ice if it’s big enough. Given the Titanic took nearly three hours to sink, I think it’s a given that he saves the day.

What do you think?

Damn that was nerdy. Where’s SpikeTV’s manly programming when you need it?

Got any suggestions to add? Disagree? Let me know!

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