Well damn, it finally happened. I got COVID. Nearly two years of jumping between fear and comfort, I got it. Two vaccinations eased my concerns throughout the past year. Hearing news about the new omicron variant has caused my anxiety to creep back up into the foreground of my daily life. Testing positive less than a week before the holidays doesn’t help things either. It means a second straight year without being able to see my family on Christmas. Just when there was a sense of normalcy, it feels like we are back at the start of things.
Even with all the negative things I mentioned, there is a weird sense of relief. No more feeling like I’m dodging it or false alarms when I contract a common cold. But with that being said, I can’t help but have all the COVID horror stories bouncing around my mind while I feel a tickle in my throat or while sniffling more than usual. I’m around five days in while writing this. I have felt better everyday but the fear remains.
As I mentioned, my anxiety is back at a heightened level like it was pre-vaccine. Any small sensation throws my mind into a vortex, my heart starts racing, and I begin breathing quickly. I hated this feeling the first time around. I will try my best to not let it get to that point again. I was lost and unaware of what anxiety can cause in a person the first time around. I am more prepared to tackle these symptoms.
This pandemic has been a rollercoaster and a real eye opener in terms of how bad my anxiety can get. But I’ll get through it, and so will you.