A Thing of the Past
For the longest time, I felt a disconnect from things that, at one point in time, gave me the most joy. Watching movies and playing video games were the at the top of my list growing up. It felt like nearly every weekend of my childhood, my family and I were jumping in the car and heading to the nearest AMC theater to watch the latest releases. Sure there were quite a few duds in there, but they can’t all be winners, right? It was more about the experience. Viewing films like they’re supposed to be seen. On the big screen.
I’d believed that the closure of theaters took my passion away, but looking back throughout my college days I hardly went out to catch a movie at all. My experience with movies at that period in my life was being stoned and scrolling through Netflix for an hour before settling on an episode of The Office or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia for the hundredth time. Not quite a cinephile, right? I think I was trying to live what I believed college and adult life to be: smoke weed, party, and go to class as a student and work and attend grad school as an adult. In the process of trying to blend in or be the person I believed I should be, I left behind some great pleasures of mine. Without any personal hobbies, what does life become? What is it all for if you are not enjoying little pleasures?
(Re)discovering the Love
I actually look forward to new releases again. Outlandish sounding games where you can be a cat roaming the streets or fight like a kung-fu master make me feel like an excited kid again. It’s a feeling I wasn’t sure would ever return, but am so glad it did. I watch trailers for films and can’t wait to reserve my seat, even if they end up being busts (cough Matrix Resurrections cough). But there can be films that fill your heart as well. Movies like Spiderman: No Way Home. That’s part of the fun.
I started to find a small piece of my personal meaning of life. It can be tough to not get lost as you grow up and enter adulthood. Hell, that’s the point of being out on your own. To learn about yourself. Once you realize what you truly enjoy, life becomes more fun. It’s less about showing others who you are and simply showing yourself.
Now grab that controller or bag of popcorn and get back to doing what you love!